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*Thomas and family flew home on the 1st. It was much harder than expected, for me. I don’t want to talk about it.

* Retained Placenta bits! Again! Squeeeeeee!!

*D&C! Fantastic!

*Uterine Infection! Whoop!!

* Total boob ER doctor. A giggle a minute, that guy. Good drugs, though….

*Still pumping, but think perhaps antibiotics are messing with supply. Pump & Dump sucks, by the way.

*Totally feel the need to constantly add disclaimers when sharing this birth story. It’s not a competition and your birth may have been a thousand times longer or harder or with bigger hurdles or what ever. Good for you. But this was my 10. This was my marathon. This was *MY* ultimate challenge. How it compares to yours doesn’t lessen how it felt to me. For me, it was the most intense thing ever. If it was a drop in the bucket compared to yours, GOOD for you! I can not imagine. But that doesn’t make how it felt to *me* any less. Also? A  pudendal block counts as drug relief during labor, and while still not a competition, that means yours *was* different than mine. Please don’t tell me I was being “a drama queen”.

~Things Remembered at delivery that I’d better note before I forget~

A blurry conversation about past births during the pushing stage. Me half passed out between contractions, answering her question about previous deliveries with some finger guns and the word “epidural”. Because that explained everything, at that point in my life. Every question, every concern, every query about the world in general could be answered with “epidural”, if you asked me.

I said please a lot. I also said fuck a lot. Not sure if the one cancels out the other, but that’s what I’m going with for the time being.

Another thing I said? A LOT? Anus. Yes, I said anus. Like, a thousand times. Why would I be saying anus? Mostly because I was pretty damn sure that was where Mr.Man was attempting to exit, and I had vivid screenshots playing through my mind of that unfortunate weightlifter we’ve all seen on YouTube and the issues he had with his very own anus… I was convinced that was going to be me. Seriously. < ( I said that a few times, too. Seriously, that is. I was damn convinced that people thought I was joking.) Apparently when under pressure I use proper terms. I could have said asshole, but no, I said anus. I like to think the attending ( wonderful) OB was appreciative of my proper use of the term when I was asking for the appropriately placed counter pressure. Anus. Anus anus anus. Your welcome.

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