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All of a sudden this little man is heavy. I don’t think I’m much bigger in size, but by the end of the day I’m holding this giant belly up with my hands when I go up and down the stairs, lol! The countdown has begun to the big arrival day, and WEEEHOOOO am I excited! I’m excited to finally get to attempt my dream birth, I’m excited to see another family grow, I’m excited to hand this little man to his Mama…… and I’m excited about the box of wine I know my girlfriends are going to bring over to my recovery hotel room afterwards. Yes, a box.

Yes. I get a recovery hotel room. Rot in your envy, lol!

I found that I needed the two days recovery time in the hospital after Ava and Amelia were born. Both physically and mentally, I needed that time to re-group before I went home with empty arms and a swollen crotch. It was perfect, because by the time I finally came home, I embraced my home and my real life like I wouldn’t have done any earlier. I was over the physical enough that I could really appreciate snuggling my own babies on my newly spacious lap, and I was over the mental enough that I could appreciate that while I was fat and baby-less, I was also super glad to be home with my own preschoolers and a full nights uninterrupted sleep.

This time, no hospital means no overnight stay. It means getting right back to life just hours after giving birth. Now, with my own children I would have LOVED that aspect. I was ready to go home just two hours after my son was born but had to wait a full night before my OB would release me. Gah. I was excited to bring my new baby home and start our life together. But with a surrogacy pregnancy, there is no new baby to plan your future with, no new life you need to begin living. Instead, there is an “old” life, that one you lived before pregnancy and cycling and surrogacy, that you are going to go back to. It’s not “less” than the new life your intended parents are now living, but it is a different life to go on living after birthing a new little person. I found that I really required that little cushion of alone time after the birth of the girls.

This time my cushion comes complete with freedom of movement, a comfortable bed, a coffee maker, and buddies bearing the boxed wine of my choice. Beats the hell out of a hospital room.

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