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I recently came across this article on Gay Marriage and I’ve got to say, it is so spot on with how I think and feel I’m shocked I didn’t write it. Yes, am full of self. Anyway, I thought i’d pass it on as one: it’s a good conversation starter and two: the more people are talking, the further we’ll come as a society in resolving these issues.

Anyone Out There Who Can Explain the Gay Marriage Thing?
By Jacob Dickerman

Is there anyone out there who can explain to me why gay marriage is a problem?

There are issues which are contentious in this country that I have a definite side on. Abortion, for example. I understand where the other side is coming from, I understand where the argument is, I just don’t agree with the pro-lifers. There are other issues where I’m more confused, mostly because I understand both sides of the issue. Gun control, for example, is an issue that has flipped back and forth in my head so much over the years, it gives me a headache just thinking about it. I get it, you know? On the one hand, they kill people, on the other hand, I believe the founders of our country recognized that this new government they were creating would be fallible and would have the ability to become tyrannical, and they believed that if that happened, the people had the right to change that government. Part of the reason for the second amendment is so that all the guns aren’t in the hands of the military, and to be frank, though I think that point of view is a little crazy and I think we’re further away from it being a necessity than we’ve been since Gingrich decided to try and impeach Clinton due to a BJ, it’s something I can hold on to for that side of the debate. It’s something that makes it clearer to me. But Gay Marriage? No. I don’t get that one at all.

Since, apparently, about fifty percent of the country disagrees with me on this one, I was hoping that a couple of them could actually try and explain a rational reason to me why gay men and women shouldn’t be allowed to get married. What I don’t get about it is that well… my fellow straight people, it’s got nothing to do with us. Except of course it might help out the noun issue when talking to our gay friends of more advanced age. You know what I mean. When you’re hanging out with your gay friend who’s in his mid thirties, and you want to ask about Tom, that guy he’s been with for a decade, the noun’s a pain in the ass. Partner? What is it, are they in business together? Boyfriend? They’re in their mid thirties, the term doesn’t fit. Manfriend? That’s the stupidest damn phrase you can make. You know what term would make it easier? Husband. Of course, until they were married, you couldn’t use that one, but once they were? Husband. Clear pronoun, everyone knows what it means, would make the linguistics of our daily life that little bit easier.

So here’s what I’m looking for in an argument against gay marriage. First off? Clarity. I don’t want to have to read through your argument fourteen times to start to see what it means. As a side note – punctuation and vowels are what make written language work. Please try and make sure that they’re there. Secondly? Logic. I don’t want an emotional argument. Civil rights are not about what you like and what you don’t like. We live in a representative democracy that’s supposed to be built on the equality of all citizens, regardless of creed, race, or orientation. If the country actually is founded on the family, how exactly will it hurt the country to legally recognize a few more families? Third, I want a real argument. Don’t pull shit out of your ass and tell me I can digest it again. Don’t tell me that gay people make bad parents, because that’s a) never been shown to be true, b) in my own anecdotal experience (not really useful data, but you should know my own bias) been shown to be false. And if it’s all about “a kid needs a male and a female parent” than we should just outlaw single parent households now. As soon as one parent dies, the kids are thrown into an orphanage, to protect them from not having a mommy or a daddy.

So what have you got? Economics? I should mention here that weddings are a multi-BILLION dollar industry in this country, and that I have no doubt that making gay marriage legal would throw tons of additional money into that system. Devaluing straight marriage? Why? How is it that two people saying “I love you and I want to be with you forever” effects your marriage in any way, shape, or form? I just want to know if there’s anything in your arguments outside of just being uncomfortable with gay people.

Really, I’m not trying to be facetious in this article. I don’t get it. Really. I don’t get it at all, and I want someone to explain it to me, because I don’t like not understanding things. Realize that we’re not talking about religion here, we’re talking about civil rights. If your church/synagogue/mosque decides to not allow gay weddings, well that’s a private issue, not a public one. They can do that anyway with straight people. They probably won’t, but they can, because they’re private institutions and not bound by the same restrictions as legal ones.

Please. Someone out there, just explain it to me. I don’t like not understanding you. What’s the argument against gay marriage?

Some comments about this issue.

Regarding the vehement stance that Gay rights aren’t due the same respect in defense as the rights of other minority groups:

For 400 years of America, we have been decried from the pulpits and religious meetings. We have been burned at the stakes. We have been hung, beaten, raped, murdered, and destroyed. We have been the subject of fears and trepidation. Parents were told to have us fixed. And they tortured us with electricity charging through our genitals to make us … Read More straight. Our young ones kill themselves just so they can avoid being one of us. And when we escape to make a life for ourselves, they prevent the person of our choice from holding our hand when we leave this world.

And these were the good years. 2000 years before that was worse. I know that there are other groups that have been treated terribly. But don’t start saying ours is not as important or as valuable.


Well, I see it as a civil rights issue for one plain and simple reason: the US Supreme Court has declared marriage as a “basic civil right” (Loving v. Virginia). Therefore, to deny law-abiding citizens access to a basic civil right that is even afforded to convicted felons seems wrong to me.

Someone earlier asked what would happen if we compared this matter to Jewish people instead of African-Americans. The historical precedent for Prop 8 lies in the Nuremberg laws, which stated that Jews were forbidden to marry German citizens. It’s directly analogous as a result. Furthermore, homosexuals were put in concentration camps as well.

The most dangerous aspect of Prop 8 is that we now have precedent for an angry majority to take away rights from anyone whom they decide they don’t like. What’s next? No more suffrage for women? A return to coverture laws and the Chinese exclusion act? All it takes is the votes …… Read More

A Straight Ally for Equality