Amanda made a comment on my previous post that I thought was worth sharing up front:
It is nice to see a positive article on surrogacy. One thing I noticed however is how much “talk” is put into the biological aspect of choosing surrogacy over adoption. I believe for many that that is just a small piece of the puzzle…that there are bigger reasons why people choose surrogacy and not adoption. Since you have this article on your blog I thought I might add what I think are major driving factors:1. NOT EVERYONE can adopt! Funny how people think that adoption is the anwser, but honestly not everyone is accepted. Single parents, Gay Parents, Parents who are not in 100% tip top shape healthwise, often times can’t adopt. Private adoptions often times the bio-mother chooses the adoptive parents…they look for healthy parents, cripes they can get really choosy and look for certain religious backgrounds.2. Adoption is a BIG risk. IVF can fail, but so can adoption. If you thought a miscarriage was hard, think about finally having your dream in your arms, caring for it for 29 days (or 3 months, depending on what the procedure is where you live), and then all of a sudden that child is ripped from you on the eleventh hour. The bio-mom changes her mind….your dreams are shattered. That baby you come to love is taken back…I watched my sister in law go through this…it was horrible, like the death of a baby in the family.3. Often times with adoption comes the Bio-mother. Now I get in ideal surrogacy arrangements it would be nice if every team member remained friends and kept in contact, but in adoption it has a different feel, I believe, the bio-mother will always have that “thing” that the adoptive mother doesn’t. It’s awful to have to always wonder if your being judged by the bio-mother.4. It’s difficult to get newborns, most adoptions are not newborn or even babies, and it’s a long waiting list often times.5. Surrogacy helps to ensure the health of the baby. Often times bio-moms are in desperate situations, they didn’t plan for the baby to be, they might have even done bad things and not known they were pregnant, or didn’t care. Babies come out with problems. Surrogates (though there is never a guarentee) generally are in good health, take care of themselves prior and during pregnancy, take the proper pre-natals, eat the right things, don’t drink/smoke/drugs, etc.6. Surrogacy allows Intented Parents to experience the pregnancy as much as they can. Need I say more? It also allows them to experience and be apart of the delivery….I think that pretty much says it all….who wouldn’t want to be apart of all that?7. Surrogacy, at least Gestational, with the help of science can help to prevent disabilities in babies and children. If your a risk factor for certain things, there are tests available to test embryos and/or sperm/eggs. With adoption often times you do not know the genetic history of the baby, who died of what, does cancer run in the family, etc.These are all very big reasons for choosing surrogacy over adoption, much bigger than the “genetic link” that people constantly refer to and use against those who persue surrogacy by saying the parents to be are “vein” that they “have to have a genetic link”, etc. etc.