Good Thing I Never Mailed It!

We Have. A transfer date!!!!!!!

 Well, a transfer week, anyway. Last week in April! Whoop! I start injections on April 5th and continue on till wee little baby is 10 weeks cooked ( maybe longer, because of the previous… time-line).

SUCH a relief. Yes, it’s a looooong way away.. but at least we officially have a “next step” to this whole messy process! AND! ( there’s always an “and” with me, isn’t there?) P-Daddy will be there! For a fresh transfer! YAY!!!!! I am SO excited to get to play with him for a few days, to veg in the super-comfy Hilton beds ( can we request a room with a balcony this time? If I have to sit still for 2 days I’d love the option of sitting out in the fresh air!) and to sleep all I want, all the while hanging out with the fab P-Daddy! SO so so looking forward to this! ALL positives, folks. No one is allowed to be anxious or nervous. Keep the chi on the up and up, OK?

Can’t believe I’m saying this ( since my arse is STILL sore in spots from PIO..) but I can NOT wait for April 5th! An actual ACTION starting this journey!!!

And now off on a different subject.. what do y’all think of the password protection? I thrive on feedback and I really don’t get much when the site is all locked down. Should I get rid of it? Say a big happy F-YOU!! to those that may lurk in an ugly and dark alley manner? Just protect those posts that are somewhat intimate and detailed ( pics, big emotions, etc.)? FEEDBACK, please!!

Because Letter Bombs Aren’t Very Nice.

Life has become a practice in patience. Wait……. wait……… wait……….. HURRY UP!!!…. and wait.

“Our” egg donor is the current issue. We have one wee little frozen blast that hasn’t been given very good odds so we need a fresh donation.. but our donor is… stalling? Or the agency is stalling? No one seems to have a clear answer other then that P-Daddy should hand over another pile of money. The ED does not want to cycle and monitor in LA this time. She wants to do so locally, which will cost quite a few additional pennies to do. There is a second choice but “we’re” not getting any quick answers about availability. Come to think of it, I don’t think we have that info about the original ED either?

COME ON, People! Get your heads out of your……. Well, wake up, anyway. We’ve got some baby making to do here and you certainly aren’t helping!

A Mini-Whoop!

Well. My RE did NOT recommend P-Daddy use another surrogate. Whoop! Well, Mini whoop anyway. Egg donor has to be re-screened for another transfer and that can take anywhere from 2 to 6 additional weeks, so a March transfer is pretty much out of the question and an April transfer is looking unlikely as well. Waiting is fine, unsure waiting not so much. I’m really just hoping she responds better then she did last time and get more then 2 “OK” embies to work with! We only had one to save from her last donation and we have to go through that whole process again simply because that one wasn’t so great to begin with; the odds of it thawing happily and having a successful transfer are pretty slim.  Please, give us a nice bunch to work with so that we have more then one shot at this! And also… some to save for a sibling in a few years, perhaps?? Asking too much? Yah. Probably.

Have to say, though, I am relieved to at least have the question of my participation behind me. I’m still in this “game” and that is such a weight off of my shoulders!

Side note: I’ve been going to the gym now for a month, at least 5 days a week. Pushing-pushing myself to get my cycle and pregnancy fluff off so that I am at a great starting point for another pregnancy. Happy to say I’m getting there! I’m only down 2 pounds ( which is better then the up 4 pounds I was 2 weeks ago) but I’m starting to feel better. Big thumbs up, self shoulder pat kind of stuff. So YAY for getting thin so that I can happily get fat again!!!!

Next up; a cycle calendar. Hoping for news about her screening and a time-line there so that I know what I’m going to be doing and when.

Failure; In the Thick of It.

“Specimine failed to grow in culture. No further testing possible.”

Happy Birthday, Beyotch. ( um yah. that was today also. Hows that for some icing, huh? )

So we have an answer. And the answer we have is…… we have no answer. No growth in culture means no Karyotype results, which means I have no effing clue what will happen next. The donor was supposed to be ready to cycle again in March, I’m on BCP in prep for another cycle, but it’s hands in the air! as far as knowledge of that ever elusive “next step” goes.

Side note for those of you paying close enough attention to claim stalker status: My sturdy uterine lining grew to an incredible 1.2cm in thickness!! Hows that for a WOW factor???!!

 What?

 Do you know how thick YOUR uterine lining gets??? Pshhhht.

The Illusion of an Update

Got the word: no test results will be coming till Feb 15th ( ironic.)

Got the word: no BCP will be prescribed till test results.

Got the witch now.

Got the OB’s number to order BCP on my own. No way in hell I’m wasting another month.

Got it?

Good.

Update.. in about 2 weeks unless something HAPPENS! Or, you  know, y’all start asking thought provoking questions.

OB D&C Exit Interview

Had my 2 week D&C checkup today which was more like a fun conversation with a buddy then a stressful embarrassing OB moment. I am just so pleasantly pleased at how my OB chooses to approach things!

Physically, find and dandy. Things are back to pre-hormone normal. Looking good ( well, actually couldn’t say how things look, since my angle was all wrong… ha ha. It’s a joke, people!)

Emotionally, somewhat fine as well! I’m past the loss stage. That pregnancy is over and while the end is sad, it was an experience I’m grateful for having. No, not grateful that I had to lose a child, no matter whose child it was. But grateful to have learned what I did about my support system; friends and family in real life and in the computer, as well as in the medical profession. Optimistic hag that I am, I’m looking for and have found the silver lining. I really do have a great group of people around me, and I have a medical staff that I can trust all the way. Those are both good things to know. There are still those lingering “failure” whispers in my ear..but I’ll just speak loudly and hum a lot to drown them out. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I know it. So there’s nothing more to be said there.

We also went over the issue of the tissue. While a lot of tissue ( and I mean a lot) was collected, it was almost completely my tissue. There were some fetal villi and maybe a tiny bit of placenta, but the rest had kind of gone the way nature intended and dissolved. This means that the results of the Karyotype testing will more then likely be inconclusive. Because the samples were so small chances are my genetics will be tested rather then the child’s. We will get the full Karyotpye report in 2 or so weeks. Until then, I’m in limbo. P-Daddy may need to go with a new surrogate at the urging of our RE, but we won’t know how our RE feels till the results are in.. so we wait.

Much thumb twiddling happening. And while twiddling can be fun.. after a few weeks it just causes cramps. Really, who likes cramps? Must take up toe-tapping……..

Neeeeeext!

So here we are, on the other side. An update-ish posty post for those following along.

We’re waiting for the test results. That will be in 4 to 6 weeks. Ick. I hate waiting. Those results will determine the next step for me, but I’m gonna play pretend right now and give some “hopefully” predictions.

We need to wait for me to have two normal cycles before I can cycle again for another IVF round. So 8 to 10-ish weeks from now I’ll be ready to try again. In the mean time, I believe ( and correct me if I’m wrong!) P-Daddy has decided to have a fresh donor cycle as well, hopefully with the same donor ( again, depending on the test results) or with a new one. That gives me relief. I was worried about the time and emotion put out there for each cycle, and cycling with just one “kind of OK” frozen embie made me nervous. Fresh is best! I also think ( yes, correct me, etc. ) that P-Daddy has decided to go ahead and transfer 2 for his next cycle. Really ups his chances of a healthy wee one, with the additional nerve wracking possibility of twins.  I’m not worried about carrying two and, while it will be HELL for the first year, I really think P-Daddy, with the awesome support system he has in place, will survive two as well. A risk worth taking.

So that is where we are. Waiting. Planning. Healing. There is sunshine on the horizon and damn it if I’m not running in that direction. Lets just hope I don’t trip over my own feet, shall we?