Filler; Refilled

The plan had been for me to nurse the ladies while in the hospital. Because of how tiny they were, instead the girls were bottle fed with super high-calorie formula. When my milk hadn’t come in by day 4 I just figured I’d be one of *those* women who’s milk never comes in, so I abandoned the idea of nursing them. Because they were so small and because they had already had 4 days of bottle feedings, I knew that trying to actually breastfeed to stimulate production at that point was a futile effort anyway. I was a wee bit surprised to wake up on day five with a *little* bit of engorgement! From nothing to something! After confirming with P-Daddy that he indeed did want as much of that liquid gold as he could get for his ladies, I set to pumping.  Holy crap on a cracker, is that hard!!! For the first several days I was lucky to get two ounces for the WHOLE DAY. This is with pumping every two hours and twice or more at night. GAH! Just when I was getting ready to throw in the towel my lovely lactation consultant gave me some great advice that made a difference in just 24 hours ( don’t think about letdown, read a book or watch TV while pumping.. and 9+ fenugreek caps a day). By the time everyone went home I was regularly getting 6 or so ounces a day.. so three feedings per girl. I am VERY proud of myself for that little accomplishment. Yes, it was only a piddly 6 ounces, but I’ve never been able to pump before, it just didn’t work for me. I am just thrilled that I was able to get some of those good benefits to the ladies, even if it wasn’t a lot.

On Friday the 16th P-Daddy, the ladies and I all flew up to Seattle to get the girls their passports. They will have dual citizenship till they reach 18 when they will have to choose.  This means they have no excuse not to come and visit me over the summers when they get older ( I’m talking to you, Daddy!) The flight up was diverted to switch to a fog-capable aircraft, and the flight home was turned back after attempting to land in the heavy fog on this side proved impossible. We ended up getting a rental car and driving home, which would have been just crappy if the girls hadn’t proven to be the angels that they are and slept for the entire day.

That trip ended up being so fun, travel changes aside. I got to wear a baby for pretty much the entire day, which was awesome. I held my own children ALL. THE. TIME. so it was kind of neat to remember back to those days while I strapped in one or the other of these little ladies. Little Ava is so small that I could put her in the sling and then zip my coat over the top of her, holding her very firmly to my body with just her tiny face peeking out. What a GREAT way to fly with little ones! All snug and warm and secure!

Alas, because Friday was a whole day spent away from my pump, my short stint with pumping was soon over. I got home around 1am on Saturday morning, pumped a good 5 ounces all at once, and haven’t pumped since. My boobs are thankful. I haven’t gotten engorged, my nipples are sending me flowers because the constant hickey machine has been stowed away, and I get to feel great about myself for doing what I could. I had hoped to continue pumping to donate the breast milk to a milk bank but honestly, it was just too much work for too little “reward”. If I were getting 4 or more ounces each session,  the time away from my family and the commitment would be worth it to pump, freeze, and ship the milk to the closest milk bank ( California.) But with how little I’ve been getting the biggest reward was helping *my* girls. I’m glad to have those hours of my day back to myself, and back with my family. I’m especially glad to have my nights uninterrupted by that sucky machine! ( pun intended)