Surrogacy: La Vida’ Style

NEW YORK (AP) — There won’t be much “livin’ la vida loca” for Ricky Martin these days — he’s now the father of twin boys.

The Latin superstar had the children via a surrogate mother, and the babies were born a few weeks ago, according to a statement from his representatives.

“The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky’s full-time care,” said the statement. “Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children.”

A representative said there was no further information on the details of the children’s birth.

Martin, 36, is a multiplatinum singer who is best known for English-language hits like “She Bangs!” and “Livin’ la Vida Loca.” In recent years, the Puerto Rican star has been active in charitable efforts, including the prevention of sexual exploitation of children.

Huge. Here’s Proof

18  weeks 6 days pregnant, these two are definitely starting to make an appearance!

Yah, My Pants are Unbuttoned. So?

In the last ten days I have outgrown two pairs of pants. As in, ten days ago I could button them just fine, and today I can’t even rubber-band the dang things up.  All of a sudden, I’m pregnant.

Dolce and Gabbana have started kicking me regularly and already little personalities are coming out. Example? Dolce, head down feet up by my ribs, is constantly on the move. If I hold still long enough there isn’t a five minute length of the day when I can’t feel him. Gabbana, transverse with her head by Dolce’s bottom, is much more polite. She will flutter her feet every now and then, occasionally poke out an elbow, but for the most part is content just to float.

I’ve lost a lot of energy lately as well. A twenty minute walk around the grocery store wears me out. I take a nap with the kids every day and I really feel like I need it more then I want it. Sleeping at night is hard. Diapering my son has become more of a challenge and I can no longer carry him up the stairs.. He’s just too much weight on this massive baby bump. My belly has begun to itch like mad and my belly button has started to flatten out.

But even with all of that? I’m excited. Excited and happy to be pregnant. I’m trying to enjoy each and every moment, even the hard ones, since I’m pretty sure this will be the last time I get to experience a pregnancy. It is somewhat surreal being pregnant right now. I’ve had whole conversations with new people about parenting that end with me gushing relief that I only have two and how content I am about that. Then I get the big long look at my obviously pregnant belly and a wondering glance before they wander away. It took me a minute the first time that happened to realize how confused I seemed.. although perhaps they just thought I was sporting the most prominent beer gut ever.

Next week P-Daddy is here to visit. My children are really looking forward to it ( a visitor!! doesn’t matter that they have no idea who he is……. they’ve seen pictures! He might as well be family!) and so am I.  I plan to steal him for a day and drive to the city to take him shopping for baby gear, then round out the day with lunch with my mother. He’s heard all about her and she, him, and I’m looking forward to introducing the two of them. Should prove interesting! Most likely she is the only member of my family that he will ever meet, so she’s got a lot of representing to do in one short visit!

My family. I did a lot of worrying for nothing on some things, it seems. I haven’t seen any of them since I was first pregnant, and won’t be seeing any of them ( except my mother) till well after the babies are born. Not by choice, that’s just how things have worked out. Hard to be an elephant in the room if we’re never in the same room together, right? Those that want to can just choose to pretend nothing has happened since they won’t be seeing any of it. My father visits occasionally but the timing of this upcoming one places me away from home getting certified as a Doula. The next time I would see him would be at our annual Christmas gathering, which I won’t be able to attend because of advanced pregnancy.  This is also the reasons I won’t be seeing either of my sisters or my brother. Very busy and very different lives just mean that our paths won’t be crossing.  My husbands family has become very involved, on the other hand. My father-in-law in particular has really come through as a strong supporter and it’s nice having that father figure handy during this journey. I think it’s because he *gets* it more then some others may. He has a son that is not biologically his that he loves and dotes on with a passion.

We had a discussion about our children and I was really able to boil things down to their simplest terms. He asked if I thought it would be hard to send these babies home. Here’s how I answered. My children are mine. They are mine with every fiber of my being, not because I carried them or because I birthed them or because we share a genetic link. They aren’t mine because she has my face or he has my personality.  They are mine because I chose them.  I chose them with my heart as mine, and nothing is stronger then that choice. Not genetics, not physically carrying them, nothing. But these babies? Are not mine. They aren’t mine not because our genetics aren’t the same, or despite the fact that I am carrying them. They aren’t mine because I do NOT choose them. That lack of choice is powerful.  It is that kind of power that makes adoptions, surrogacy, alternative families in general possible. 

It makes being pregnant just odd. I don’t have a nursery planned, I am not making lists of names, I’m not buying a larger car or stocking diapers by the truckload; I just get to enjoy pregnancy. That’s all I need to do.

So that’s what I’m doing. Enjoying pregnancy. I eat chocolate by the truck load ( it’s good for the babies!),  enjoy my ever expanding girth, fondle all the fun maternity tops at the store, spend a good amount of time each evening with my hands pressed to my belly feeling these babies move, and just enjoy this pregnancy with none of the stress that follows. Newborns. Sweet, smell good……. stressful. None of that, please. I’ll just stick to being pregnant, thanks!

17 Weeks and All’s Well

A happily uneventful OB appointment today. I’m up a total of 10 pounds ( woo hoo!!!), fundus is measuring at 23 weeks, and the babies; they are a wigglin’!

I love my OB. He knows how paranoid I am about them so he books me in the ultrasound room every time. We listen, then we look. They both look great. Dolce is head down, body on my right side. Gabbana is transverse with her head by Dolce’s bottom, feet to my left. All baby on my right side, left side kind of empty. My belly even LOOKS lopsided, tee hee! They were having a bit of a nap so weren’t super active on the ultrasound, but you could still see them stretching around in there! We discussed the plans for delivery a bit today and I expressed again my wish to go as naturally as possible. He likes to have an epidural for his twin patients for a few reasons; baby b is commonly a c-section delivery or flips transverse after baby A delivers and needs to be manually turned. Both of these scenarios really require an epidural. We’ve compromised and I have agreed to have an epidural catheter put in, but it will just be taped down until/if I need it. Aiming for not needing it, of course, which he fully supports. This means that a large part of my labor can not be in the labor tub. That sucks as laboring in the tub was a comfort with my sons’ pregnancy. But at least the first part can be! He also insists on constant fetal monitoring. Yah, no. We will come to a compromise on that issue as well, but I’ll save that debate for a little later, LOL! He has agreed to let me go as long as my body is able, with daily checks after 38 weeks to make sure the two are doing well if I make it that long. However he’s never had twins make it that long so it was an empty promise on his part, but I plan to surprise him! My next appointment is just before Labor Day weekend, and P-Daddy will be here to go with me. We have the big 20 week gender revealing ultrasound in the morning and a meeting with my OB that afternoon. Wheeeee!!! Still fumbling out how I’m going to entertain him for his visit but, I’m not too worried.

I haven’t been sleeping very well and have some nasty acid reflux, which  prompted me to go ahead and scour Craigslist for a recliner. It arrived this morning and it is SO comfy! For the first time in more then a week I managed to actually sleep during nap time, propped up on my new chair. We’ll see if I even make it to my bed tonight. The big trick is going to be keeping my little monsters off of it. So far we’re doing well. It is, after all, Mama’s special chair. I highly doubt that will last long though, my two are pretty tenacious!