Audience Participation Required
18 12 2007OK folks, I’m winding up to a rousing discussion and debate that I’m sure you’ll all get something out of.
But first, I’d like to know your thoughts. Why? So I have great fodder for my own post, of course. Lazyness at it’s best.
This is what I require of you: A comment; sentence, paragraph, or book, about your views on:
Compensated Gestational Surrogacy
Good or bad. For or against. Who -what -when -where -why. Everyone has an opinion on this, and I’d like to hear them all! This is an open post so go anon if you’d feel more comfortable. But please, if you read this post, leave a comment. I really would like to hear what everyone has to say.
Thanks!
Yes, anon works! OK y’all….. comment!
Bump Fairy
By compensated do you mean getting paid for doing it?
If so, then I think
a) The woman surely deserves some compensation, it is a HUGE gift you are giving.
b) That raises concerns that some people may do it for the wrong reason (i.e. just to get money).
c) Even if the woman does it for the ‘right’ reasons, people will probably perceive that she is doing it for money.
d) I think adding money to the situation would complicate it hugely, but would not necessarily be the wrong thing.
Oh for God’s sake!!! Of course there should be monetary compensation! Who’s doing all the fricken work? Who’s taking all the frickin risks? Who’s disrupting their entire life to make sure that the IPs get the healthiest baby possible?
The Surrogate, that’s who!!
Is it exploitation to pay the girl who brings you your pizza? Is it wrong to tip your waitress? Why should these people be compensated for time and effort and not a surrogate?
Is it wrong to do a job with altruistic overtones and be paid for it? If so, I’m doing wrong and so are most doctors, nurses, hospice workers and so on. Just because something can be termed selfless doesn’t mean it should be free.
Beyond that, a service provided is a service that needs to be paid for. Period.
I think compensation is right and fair. Anyone who has been pg knows how hard it is, and when you are doing a ’service’ for someone, pay is generally included.
Now this special service is very emotional and wonderful, but indeed should come with some kind of compensation, even if it is just enough for maternity clothes, a massage or two, all that good stuff.
I can see where some people may think it is all about the money, but what those people probably do not know is that the good agencies do weed out the crazies so to speak, and there are requirements, and psych evaluations, so to me, it is all well and good.
I think it’s fair that they receive something for their huge heart in giving life when you are unable to do so. That is amazing to me. I have thought about doing this, since I can no longer have children. I think I would do this over adoption.
Jillian
Oh goodnight! Why shouldn’t you be compensated?
Ask any of these people going through an agency just to have a child…the service you provide is priceless!
*You are providing a service. Doctors provide services..do they do it for free? I think not.
*You are not doing this for some joe schmoe off the street. You and Daddy have both gone through a process to make sure that things are as they need to be.
*You have a heart for helping people. You are not looking for some “easy” way to make some cash. Anyone who really knows you would know better than to accuse you of “pimping out” your uterus. You do not sit around on the couch eating bon bons and watching soap operas trying to figure out your next get quick scam.
*Just because the thought of doing what you are doing does not appeal to some they have no right to judge you on doing it.
*You are offering use of your body to grow a beautiful child to complete someone’s life who may not have the chance for this opportunity or whose only other choice would be something shady. I pay someone to cut my hair, wait on me in restaurants, fix my car- people pay me to take care of their children- what makes your job something that you should just do out of the kindness of your heart and expect nothing? What you are doing is far more personal and incredible. Anyone could cut hair..we could all have the opportunity to attend beauty school, trust me…unfortunately anyone can sign up to be a daycare provider…yet there are women who cannot do what you are doing and not a single man who can. Now even though your situation does not necessarily need a special education it DOES take someone special to do it. I love to be pregnant…could I do what you are doing? Probably not.
This is most definately NOT for everyone. That is okay. Those who have a problem with it should express their concerns to you in an adult manner and then move on. We cannot always agree with how other people live their lives and we should feel free to express that in an adult manner. This does not effect the people who have a problem with it. The ones complaining to you I am sure are not IP’s or surrogates. I would be interested to know if IP’s think that it is a service that should be provided to them for free. I would bet money that most of them do not have a problem with compensating someone for giving them a truly wonderful gift of carrying their child.
Okay I rambled and ranted … I would apologize for it except that the people who give you crap about this probably do not understand what it is truly like to lose a child that you dearly wanted or have not had any trouble conceiving. I have lost a baby at 24 weeks…one that I was already madly in love with and I have watched my SIL struggle with secondary infertility and I know the worth of one child. You go girl…you are doing an awesome thing.
Yes, absolutely the surrogate should be compensated!! It is a huge sacrifice to become a surrogate and make the dreams of a couple/ person come true. Being down that infertility path myself and thinking about the surrogacy option, I would have paid anything to have a family (we were blessed to have children on our own after infertility treatments).
Yes, compensation is a great idea. I would like to see some kind of monitoring in palce so that the costs don’t become too high but I think the GS should be compensated. Oprah did a great show about women in India who get paid to be a GS. The owmen interviewed all used the money to better thier families. One built a new home on thespotwhere herfmailies one room shack had been anohter would use the money to send her children to school. Seems like a win-win for everyone.
Absolutely a woman should be paid for GS services. It is after all a service… One would not rent out a house for free and why should a womb be any different.
I have been doing quite a lot of reading on this subject lately and it seems like people’s (mostly women) opinions are formed by wether they would act as a GS personally. It definatly takes a special kind of woman to be willing to go through everything that it takes to grow a human being, birth it and then be willing to surrender it to, in some cases, practically a total stranger… Definatly an adventure not just anyone can embark on.
Well, I figure you know what I think.
Hi I just found your blog from babes in blogland and I totally agree with everyone that says a surrogate should be compensated.After everything a womans body goes through and even the emotional part of it.It only sounds rights.Anyways I would love a password if I can get one.My email is e_tys26@yahoo.com I didn’t see were I could email you.Thanks
Hi - I certainly think a surrogate should be fairly compensated. While one would do this out of love and compassion for a childless person, I feel that you are also providing a service. It’s certainly reasonable.
Side note: I haven’t received an email with the password. Did I not pass the test?
Of course there should be compensation. The only time I can see someone doing this without it, would be for their best friend of 20 years or their sister.
It’s a big deal, being pregnant. It does take a toll on your body, your emotions, etc. It took such a toll on me, that after having two kids of my own, I wouldn’t be a surrogate even if I were paid a million bucks! No joke. So even with monetary compensation, every surrogate is still taking some risks with her health, making certain sacrifices, and most of all, GIVING A GIFT. There’s nothing shady about being paid.
I don’t personally know anyone who would go through pregnancy again for someone else, money or no money. That shows how much of a gift it really is.
i think if you’re gonna do it, you should definitely get compensated - i’m amazed by people who are willing to do this (tho most of the women i’ve discussed it with would do it for extremely high compensation - and money will make people do all sorts of crazy things).
more so i’m amazed at people who go through SO MUCH TROUBLE so they can raise a child with their own genes (it seems so arrogant)… seems to me there are already so many orphaned children around the world, but i guess this is probably easier (!) and cheaper than attempting to adopt. who knows, who knows, i’ve never felt the need to exercise my fertility.