Cutie Compare

Guess Who Are SIX Months Old??

Two very special ladies are celebrating their half-day today…

Super Happy Half-Day Ava and Amelia! I think about you all the time, and seeing how happy you are warms my heart like nothing else in the world could. I love you!

ABC’s of Me

I’m totally stealing this idea from a fellow IComLeavWe writer….

Animated. Seriously, spend two seconds in my presence and you’ll be fending off flapping hands.
Babies. I love how they smell. Not just my own, all babies have this amazing smell. If it weren’t offensive I’m sure I’d just go around sniffing other peoples children.
Children. I have two and have birthed four. I have a thing for children.
Dog. I have one. His name is Muppet and he’s a poodle mix & the smartest yet most dopey animal I’ve ever owned. He drives me bonkers.
Education. I never went to college although I did passing well in high school, and I’m not sure I ever will. My passions don’t seem to lead that way, so only time will tell.
Family. My biggest passion and most favorite advocacy platform.
Grown In My Heart. The awesome adoption/alternative family building website I’ve begun writing at.
Home hunter. After years renting, my family is on a quest to be home owners again, hopefully this fall!
Infertility. I was very briefly touched by this little blend of hell and it made a profound difference in how I see the world.
Jaymee. The woman I hope to help make into a Mama, and someone who inspires me.
Knotts Berry Farm. I am a closet adrenaline junkie and LOVE the roller coasters at Knotts. I can’t wait for my children to be old enough to go!
Lupron. I start injections in just over a month and am nervous. Pathetically nervous.
Mother. It’s more then just raising children, but is so all-encompassing that there is no better way to describe it.
Nincompoop. Oh come on. It’s a fun word!
Optimistic. Not only is the glass always half full, I’m sure I can find some “happy” around here somewhere for your glass as well..
Photography. My favorite artistic outlet. I’m not great, but I love it so much that the quality isn’t that important.
Queen of the Mess. I’m not a tidy person. Actually that’s wrong. I, myself, am rather tidy. But my children and husband are not. So my house is in a constant state of mess. And I am the queen.
Restless. I’ve moved 15 times in the last 11 years. I just can’t seem to hold still, although I have told my children that our next home will be our “forever” home ( so I’ll aim to stay put for at least 5 years)
Surrogacy. My newest passion and something I’m excited I’m able to do.
Twins. My beautiful surro daughters, twins, were born on December 29th 2008 and I love them to pieces.
Unconditional. The love I have for my husband. There is nothing, literally nothing, that man could do that would dent my love for him.
Vampires. I am pathetically addicted to the Stephanie Meyer  vampire series. It’s a very sad thing. I read the books at least twice a month.
Writer.I’m not great, and I’m definitely not frequent, but when I get the right inspiration nothing gives me a creative outlet like writing.
X-Linked Ichthyosis. A genetic condition my husband suffers that lead to a vasectomy after my son was born ( and unknowingly contributed to our problems TTC in the first place)
Yackity-yak. I like to talk. A lot. My favorite way to pass down time involves a glass of wine and a buddy to chat at.
Zihuatanejo. Where husband and I went for our pre-wedding honeymoon and were literally chased off a neighboring property by guards with guns. Scary.

A Step at a Time

Well, it’s started. That “ready to cycle” cycle that happens before the cycle. I’ve purchased the first in my stepping stones down from my caffeine addiction and filled the pantry with half-caff and decaf coffee. Yum. I’ve also purchased the last addition to my twice weekly personal vacation; a *box of wine. Once it’s gone, it’s gone…. for at least the next year. Stepping down, getting ready to cycle…

 

*yes, I really did say a ~box~ of wine. I am nothing if not “thrifty”.

When it’s Smokin’ It’s Cookin’

Too many pots on the fire means all of my meals are a little bit burnt..

On the second of this month I flew down to Dallas to be greeted at the airport by Jaymee and her incredible mother. I spent a whirlwind mid-week in their beautiful home meeting the family, being (gratefully) over fed, and giving blood. Gallon after gallon of blood. Wednesday saw Jaymee and I at the Sher Institute for Reproductive Medicine where, after a SUPER long wait, we were brought back for some fun. It had to have been seventy two vials of blood, my arm was positively purple from the tourniquet being on for so long. I had to pee in a cup. Then I had to pee in a cup again when they threw out my original pee. WHO THROWS AWAY SOMEONES PERFECTLY DECENT CUP OF PEE??? And then the fun began.
You see, I had a date with the weenie wand.
Our transvaginal ultrasound was both fun and entertaining. As was the mock transfer. Both resulted in a satisfied RE and, while satisfied wouldn’t really describe my experience, I WAS taken out to dinner first, and again after….
But the best part? The part that made me literally squeal while still nekkid on the table?

GUESS WHO GOT A TRANSFER CALENDAR??!!

On August 30th, of this very same year that we are now experiencing, the true fun really begins. On that lovely day I will wake up and inject 10 units of Lupron directly into my belly. With a needle. In my belly. Did I mention that it was in my belly? Because it is. Now this is causing more then a little bit of freaking out to happen as this is very very new to me ( I didn’t have this drastic med protocol for either of my previous transfers but followed a more natural protocol) but I am refusing to acknowledge the freak out. So it isn’t happening. I will also start a daily dose of Dexamethasone, also something new to me. On September 8th I will start the twice weekly intramuscular injections of Delestrogen, which are a piece of cake and not something I’m worrying about. I was weepy last time, but the side effects were totally do-able. And I continue on this injection/medication path until……. at least the 22nd. You see, depending on how Jaymee responds, I could continue with the daily Lupron for several more weeks. As soon as we get some great eggs and grow some beautiful embryos to test, I will quit taking the Lupron and begin injecting Progesterone ( as well as administering progesterone….elsewhere). Then transfer. Then peeing a lot on things. Hopefully one of which is a pregnancy test.
This is a VERY different medication schedule then I’m used to. Lots of things happening and, of course, lots of freaking out happening because of the lots of different things. But I am also super excited. Excited to be starting, excited to see the birth of a new Mama, excited to be a part of something so incredible again.

Too Cute to Keep to Myself

How adorable are they??!! I can’t believe how fast they are growing. They are fast approaching their 6 month birthday and it seems both forever ago and yesterday that they were wiggling in my belly. Fingers crossed that the stars align so that I can see them this winter, they will be grown and off to college before I know it!

More Thinking

 

 

 

A Letter from a 10 Year Old LGBT News

Dear Reader,
I am writing this after witnessing several videos in which hundreds of people protest for what they believe in. Just think about it! There were 18,000 gay-married couples in California who got off easy. But there are more people in this world than that! My family is my 14 year old brother, my mom, and her wife, Tanya. Tanya is part of our family now, and she is loved. I oppose Amendment 2 with all my heart. The HEART is the thing now. We love, and that keeps our world spinning. Never mind who we are, what race we are, what gender we are: Love is an equal right. Love makes a family.
What do you see in the above picture? An insult to marriage? An intrusion to marriage? A threat to marriage? Or do you see what I see? I see all that belongs to a family. I see 2 women who marry and live, even when laws and people and cars drive by and flip them off for standing in the rain protesting the hate that is heaped upon them. But love shall win. Love shall always conquer hate. So we shall stay out here in the rain, wondering: why? Not wondering why we fight, or why the rain comes down, not why the heck we chose this path. But wondering why these people choose to flip us off when they could stop and think: That little girl can’t be much older than my daughter/son. And that woman is drenched but she’s got a purpose and shows no sign of stopping now. Or even: They are all soaked. What drives them on? The answer being, of course: Love. L-O-V-E LOVE!
All you need is love. – John Lennon
What do you see here? 2 confused women? Hundreds of confused people? Guess what I see? Love. Not only do I see love, but I see people ready to defend the rights of that love. What I see are people, ready for whatever might come. For instance, I’m going to post this on my profile and kids in my class might laugh at me. I DON’T CARE!!!!!!! THEY CAN SNICKER ALL THEY WANT, BUT NOT BY A LONG SHOT WILL I LOSE GROUND!!!!!! IF IT BECOMES COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT MY MOTHER HAS MARRIED A WOMAN, NOT ONLY DO I AVOW IT, I EMBRACE AND TAKE PRIDE IN IT!!!!!!!
What truly saddens me is not only how many people support Proposition 8 and/or Amendment 2, but the fact that they exist. What person is so vain, stupid, or scared that they have nothing to do but sit around and criticize other people’s marriages? What person decided to crash the wedding, the domestic partnership certificate? Who decided love wasn’t enough to make a family?
Guess what? Love does make a family!
Thank you,
Ali T. -10 years old.

A Healthy Debate to Pass the Time

I recently came across this article on Gay Marriage and I’ve got to say, it is so spot on with how I think and feel I’m shocked I didn’t write it. Yes, am full of self. Anyway, I thought i’d pass it on as one: it’s a good conversation starter and two: the more people are talking, the further we’ll come as a society in resolving these issues.

Anyone Out There Who Can Explain the Gay Marriage Thing?
By Jacob Dickerman

Is there anyone out there who can explain to me why gay marriage is a problem?

There are issues which are contentious in this country that I have a definite side on. Abortion, for example. I understand where the other side is coming from, I understand where the argument is, I just don’t agree with the pro-lifers. There are other issues where I’m more confused, mostly because I understand both sides of the issue. Gun control, for example, is an issue that has flipped back and forth in my head so much over the years, it gives me a headache just thinking about it. I get it, you know? On the one hand, they kill people, on the other hand, I believe the founders of our country recognized that this new government they were creating would be fallible and would have the ability to become tyrannical, and they believed that if that happened, the people had the right to change that government. Part of the reason for the second amendment is so that all the guns aren’t in the hands of the military, and to be frank, though I think that point of view is a little crazy and I think we’re further away from it being a necessity than we’ve been since Gingrich decided to try and impeach Clinton due to a BJ, it’s something I can hold on to for that side of the debate. It’s something that makes it clearer to me. But Gay Marriage? No. I don’t get that one at all.

Since, apparently, about fifty percent of the country disagrees with me on this one, I was hoping that a couple of them could actually try and explain a rational reason to me why gay men and women shouldn’t be allowed to get married. What I don’t get about it is that well… my fellow straight people, it’s got nothing to do with us. Except of course it might help out the noun issue when talking to our gay friends of more advanced age. You know what I mean. When you’re hanging out with your gay friend who’s in his mid thirties, and you want to ask about Tom, that guy he’s been with for a decade, the noun’s a pain in the ass. Partner? What is it, are they in business together? Boyfriend? They’re in their mid thirties, the term doesn’t fit. Manfriend? That’s the stupidest damn phrase you can make. You know what term would make it easier? Husband. Of course, until they were married, you couldn’t use that one, but once they were? Husband. Clear pronoun, everyone knows what it means, would make the linguistics of our daily life that little bit easier.

So here’s what I’m looking for in an argument against gay marriage. First off? Clarity. I don’t want to have to read through your argument fourteen times to start to see what it means. As a side note – punctuation and vowels are what make written language work. Please try and make sure that they’re there. Secondly? Logic. I don’t want an emotional argument. Civil rights are not about what you like and what you don’t like. We live in a representative democracy that’s supposed to be built on the equality of all citizens, regardless of creed, race, or orientation. If the country actually is founded on the family, how exactly will it hurt the country to legally recognize a few more families? Third, I want a real argument. Don’t pull shit out of your ass and tell me I can digest it again. Don’t tell me that gay people make bad parents, because that’s a) never been shown to be true, b) in my own anecdotal experience (not really useful data, but you should know my own bias) been shown to be false. And if it’s all about “a kid needs a male and a female parent” than we should just outlaw single parent households now. As soon as one parent dies, the kids are thrown into an orphanage, to protect them from not having a mommy or a daddy.

So what have you got? Economics? I should mention here that weddings are a multi-BILLION dollar industry in this country, and that I have no doubt that making gay marriage legal would throw tons of additional money into that system. Devaluing straight marriage? Why? How is it that two people saying “I love you and I want to be with you forever” effects your marriage in any way, shape, or form? I just want to know if there’s anything in your arguments outside of just being uncomfortable with gay people.

Really, I’m not trying to be facetious in this article. I don’t get it. Really. I don’t get it at all, and I want someone to explain it to me, because I don’t like not understanding things. Realize that we’re not talking about religion here, we’re talking about civil rights. If your church/synagogue/mosque decides to not allow gay weddings, well that’s a private issue, not a public one. They can do that anyway with straight people. They probably won’t, but they can, because they’re private institutions and not bound by the same restrictions as legal ones.

Please. Someone out there, just explain it to me. I don’t like not understanding you. What’s the argument against gay marriage?

Some comments about this issue.

Regarding the vehement stance that Gay rights aren’t due the same respect in defense as the rights of other minority groups:

For 400 years of America, we have been decried from the pulpits and religious meetings. We have been burned at the stakes. We have been hung, beaten, raped, murdered, and destroyed. We have been the subject of fears and trepidation. Parents were told to have us fixed. And they tortured us with electricity charging through our genitals to make us … Read More straight. Our young ones kill themselves just so they can avoid being one of us. And when we escape to make a life for ourselves, they prevent the person of our choice from holding our hand when we leave this world.

And these were the good years. 2000 years before that was worse. I know that there are other groups that have been treated terribly. But don’t start saying ours is not as important or as valuable.

****************************************************************************************

Well, I see it as a civil rights issue for one plain and simple reason: the US Supreme Court has declared marriage as a “basic civil right” (Loving v. Virginia). Therefore, to deny law-abiding citizens access to a basic civil right that is even afforded to convicted felons seems wrong to me.

Someone earlier asked what would happen if we compared this matter to Jewish people instead of African-Americans. The historical precedent for Prop 8 lies in the Nuremberg laws, which stated that Jews were forbidden to marry German citizens. It’s directly analogous as a result. Furthermore, homosexuals were put in concentration camps as well.

The most dangerous aspect of Prop 8 is that we now have precedent for an angry majority to take away rights from anyone whom they decide they don’t like. What’s next? No more suffrage for women? A return to coverture laws and the Chinese exclusion act? All it takes is the votes …… Read More

Signed,
A Straight Ally for Equality

Moving Right Along……

So! Last Friday I loaded my little family up into the “road trip minivan” and headed north to Portland. Why? Would I willingly and eagerly travel three hours with two toddler/preschoolers in a small hot box.. on purpose?

The answer… Jaymee & Hubs.

After dropping our irritated and overly excited children off with my mother ( thanks Mom,) DH and I sprinted over (getting lost a few times)  to the hotel where we found, on the curb, the two bubbliest people on planet earth. We shoved them into the back seat and drove them to dinner…. thankfully the people we kidnapped were the right ones and Jaymee, her DH, my DH and I had a FAB meal together. It was like sitting down with old/new friends. So casual and comfortable, right from the start. Perfect.

I ate Alaskan crab legs. Apparently that is a requirement for proper Jaymee-Baby gestation; the consumption of shellfish. Oky Doky, will do… I’ve never had real crab but I am a fan of Deadliest Catch, and this particular tasty treat had arrived fresh from the “Catch” crew themselves, so eating it was almost mandatory when dining if I want to maintain my place in the fan club.

After eating entirely too much and taking way too long to do it ( we were gone over three hours!) we called it a night and headed home for a wee bit of shuteye for the long day ahead of us. Bright and early the next morning we again met up with my fancy new Intended Parents ( and again, got lost) & trekked our mini-van arses on over to the Portland Zoo so that they could get to know my kookie family. Jaymee spent the better part of the day proving over and over what an incredible mother she’s going to be. 
 

My kids hopped in and out of that little stroller buggy a thousand times, walking till tired and riding till too cooped up. She was either pushing them around in that tonnage, or holding a little hand to go explore. My kids LOVED her and her husband is just one of the group, the kids thought he was FUN FUN ( with the fanciest “pretty arms” they had ever seen) & he proved to be the biggest teddy bear we came across that whole day. Soon enough it was time to call it quits and hugs were passed around. I think we all learned what we wanted to learn on this little weekend trip. Jaymee left that day with signed complete contracts in her purse. I left that day with a huge smile in my heart, bubbling with happiness at how awesome this little family already is and how great it’s going to be when they finally have their wee little one to complete it.

I can’t wait.

New Life/ New World Administrators

Just wanted to send a word of caution out there to any surros or intended parents who are using or are considering using this insurance company. My surro twins are nearly 5 months old and I still have a large medical bill in their name due to nonpayment by New World Administrators. I am being aggressively pursued by collections agencies. I have been told on three separate occasions via e-mail and phone that “the bills have just been received for re-pricing and the checks will be mailed out with this weeks payments” and no payments have actually been sent. I was first assured of this two months ago. My phone calls and e-mails for this latest round of collections notices have not been returned.
I have been in contact with a group of surrogates who are also having problems with this company and we are considering banding together to form a class action lawsuit/ consumer fraud case. I welcome others who have had these issues to contact me so we can see what we can do together to get this resolved.